Murphy, Cut People Some Slack

Husband's tumor was cancerous, but the cancer hadn't spread. The oncologist didn't think it was necessary to do preventative radiation or chemo, and my husband was happy with that news. The least invasive, the least issue with this career. (Also, the babies, the hypothetical third baby that he is obsessed with me carrying.) However, they did decide to wash him back - at least one class. He's on casual status till further notice and will eventually have his file go before a Medical Evaluation Board (MEB) before he is cleared. Everything should work out fine, but there's a lot of red tape to get through before anything happens. That's the military - rush in and wait forever.

My mom is once again having fun with kidney stones and a kidney infection. Horrible, horrible. We planned on heading up there mid-July, but now I want to bump it up, but then one has to wonder how helpful a person can be with two small children. I certainly wouldn't want two kids bouncing around my house when I feel like dying. Also, Moose's birthday is in between there and is it fair to be away from home and away from his dad for his birthday? He's turning all of two, so I don't think he cares ... but it wouldn't be my life without the overwhelming Mommy Guilt.

Remember House of Boys? Well, the oldest boy, B, had a terrible jet ski accident. He was airlifted from Middle-of-Nowhere, Montana to Denver Children's Hospital. He's in ICU. He is responsive and they are hoping to move him out of ICU and remove his neck brace. His dad, who is serving in Korea, is on a flight back to the States. Oh, and it's the poor kid's 9th birthday today! It sounds like things are going well, though, so thank God for that. B is an awesome kid (and I mean that - I'm not generally a big fan of other people's kids.) Poor Mrs. House of Boys - a husband that's been gone for a year, three boys, one in the ICU. She's gotta be worn thin.

The stupid bird flew away.

Moose went to speech testing today, and they want him to come in TWO OR THREE TIMES A WEEK. Personally, I think his speech delays are less severe than Bean's ... and Bean only got therapy once a week for a month and then every other week. I am thankful that they care and are taking it seriously, but two or three times a week seems like a little much. He is saying the following nowadays (compared to Bean's FOUR flipping words at two years old):

I don't know.
Ready, set, go.
This one.
Ball.
Mommy.
No.
Shoe.
Meow.
More.
Please.
Thank you.
Hi.
Bye.
Night-night.
There it is.
I do.
Uh-huh. (That's like "yes")

He's fine. Two or three times a week? Egads.

Husband and I were hoping to sneak off for a mini-vacation and leave the kids with my mom, but obviously that's out of the running now. If that's the only thing we're having to sacrifice, then I guess we're doing all right and shouldn't complain.

Final Flight

The kids got up at 6:15 today. I sense a pattern. To be fair, we may have put them to bed at 6 p.m. last night - we were really tired and needed to catch up on Lost :) Bean fell right to sleep, but Moose squawked for a bit.

Today is Husband's "fini flight." It's his final flight for this assignment/base. Crazy. I'm picking Bean up early from school and then taking pizza, wings, and soda up to Husband's work. I should have some pictures.

I am still doing a lot of packing and setting stuff aside to sell and give away. We have buyers for the washer and dryer! They are going to a good home. We haven't gotten any calls on the fridge, but we can always move it with us and sell it in Shreveport - it's a little easier to temporarily stow a fridge in a carport than a washer and dryer. I can't believe how much stuff we have.

The packers/movers are supposed to call 72 hours in advance. No call yet. Hopefully we hear some Monday.

No, the Kindle is not the Perfect Mother's Day Gift

Amazon is recommending its Kindle as the Perfect Mother's Day Gift. It was also the Perfect Spring Break Gift and the Perfect Valentine's Day Gift. I get it, Amazon, the Kindle is perfect. Shut up about it already. Let me tell you, the Kindle is not the Perfect Mother's Day Gift for my mom. No way. So, Amazon, for the first time, you are dead wrong.

I got the Amendment from the housing inspection - pretty minor stuff. Blah, blah, blah. My husband is going to say, "Yeah, we're not fixing any of it." Still, though, I guess I should show it to him and ask. (Any bets on how that conversation goes?)

We have real orders now and can schedule the movers. Can this be over already?

I finally took care of Mother's Day gifts for both moms (no, I didn't buy either of them a Kindle). I have cards picked out for the May birthdays. I don't think I missed anything, but I feel like I have.

Shreveport + Me = In Love

We made a short trip to Shreveport this weekend. Seriously, we got there around 11 p.m. Friday and left about 2 p.m. Saturday.

We loved what we saw, though.

We looked at two rental properties, the only two I could find near good elementary schools. They were both in great neighborhoods, but the homes themselves were a little more outdated than we hoped.

The first one was in my target neighborhood and just a hop (not even a hop and skip) away from the school. A greenbelt runs through the neighborhood and there's all the shopping and dining you could want within a 10-minute drive. There's also the most awesome playground ever within an easy 5-minute drive. The downside was not much of a yard and no fenced in area for the dog.

The second home we looked at was more in the boonies. It was surrounded by forest and had a private lake for the neighborhood. The trees were amazing. The house had a gigantic backyard. The property manager warned us about snakes, then we saw a guy catching a snake out of the street. Needless to say, my husband was not impressed with the prospect of poisonous and not poisonous snakes hanging around. A friend suggested we buy some guinea fowl to take care of the problem - fresh eggs and no snakes! I like it! BUT, the place is not within walking distance of its great elementary school AND my husband is totally freaked about the snakes. Totally.

Ultimately, we decided on the first house and headed back to it. AND IT WAS GONE! Someone came while we were gone (a whole 3.5 hours) and gave her a 2-year lease and a deposit. It felt like we had the rug pulled out from under us. We drove every street in the neighborhood hoping beyond hope that we'd see another place for rent - no luck. As a matter of fact, there were only two homes for sale in the whole neighborhood (and two townhomes).

It's funny. I was sort of favoring the forest/snake house, but when we found out the first house was unavailable, we didn't head back to get it. Clearly, the second house was not the right house for us.

We checked out the base. The commissary is great. It was a madhouse (right after pay day and the day before Easter), but I was still in love - I love grocery shopping. The Barksdale Inn, however, left a lot to be desired. We've stayed on base at three other bases and this was by far the worst. They call it "historic," I call it a dump.

We checked out base housing and weren't impressed with what we saw. We also heard of "East Gate" which is base housing about 20 minutes outside of base that they're moving people to. So, we made a decision that we absolutely did not want to move on base and pay for private school. The area right outside of base isn't nearly as nice as the area by the first rental home.

We drove around the downtown. It looked nice - no abandoned buildings and rundown businesses. It actually looked pretty clean and totally not scary. The convention center was very pretty from the outside.

We played at a couple playgrounds (including the super-awesome one).

We headed home and about an hour from home the landlord of the first place called. She didn't like the people's credit, so the home was ours, if we still wanted it. AND WE DID. She's in the middle of PCSing herself, so we'll get the paperwork this week and send it back with the checks. So, I hesitate to say the place is ours till everything is signed and money is exchanged, but things look good.

The casino/riverwalk area looked pretty neat from the highway - at least six HUGE casinos, complete with hotels and restaurants and even theater venues.

So, all in all, I'm in love with Shreveport. I cannot wait to get moved out there and start our life.

Now ... someone buy this damn house.

Stressful Things

People tell you about stressful things - moving, marriage, babies, job losses, etc. Husband and I have done those things. No joke, we thought having a baby, planning a wedding, and moving across the country was a great idea and decided to do it all in about eight months. We survived. Barely.

I suspect selling your home falls into the moving category of things, but it's a whole new level of moving. In a rental, you just back up your stuff, clean the place a bit, and move. There's no pressure of "how long can we pay a mortgage and rent a place?" or "must keep house straight despite my natural messy methods and destruction of two small children."

I constantly hum to myself that I will not agree to buy another house anytime soon - and not because I hate owning a home. No, I don't want to go through having to sell another home. It reminds me a lot of the first 18 weeks of pregnancy. It just seems to drag on and on and takes over everything (though, it's tidying and packing instead of, umm, puking).

10 Things I'm Enjoying (a.k.a. Distractions from House Selling)

1. Searching for things in Shreveport. There are TWO Michaels and a Barnes and Noble and a Borders. There are also Farmer's Markets and organic vegetable co-ops and a Unitarian Church. Almost every time I search for something in the Shreveport-Bossier City area, I find it. Do you know what a joy that is after spending almost five years in this backwards place?

2. Project Runway. This show doesn't get nearly as much attention as it used to, but I think this most recent group of designers is incredibly talented. I love Seth Aaron and Emilio. I'm also rooting for Anthony - "Let me tell you, it is hell growing up gay in the ghetto." He's great.

That's all for now - someone just woke up.

End of February, Where Yat?

Another month of 2010 has come and is nearly gone.

So, where am I at on those New Years Resolutions?

• Read Harry Potter 5, 6, and 7. DONE!
• Save up to buy an SLR camera. Still have that same $50 saved up, but I haven't added to it.
  
• Value myself more. Hair and makeup are rarely getting done. Haven't been to the gym all month. I did join Weight Watchers, though, and am having success with that. I do feel better, so that counts for something.
• Cut TV time. Some days are better than others. Overall, I do think I've cut out a lot of mindless TV watching most days.
• Rework my novella into a novel. Haven't written a thing. Haven't worked on a thing.
• Enter 3 writing contests. See above.
• Participate in Eat from the Pantry Challenge. DONE!
• Submit 1 piece of writing to an editor. See previous answers.
• Commit to housework schedule. Absolutely not. This month, I've taken a couple loads to the Consignment Shop on base and packed several boxes. So, umm, there's less to clean. That's something!
• Begin bucket list. DONE!
• Update blogs three times a week. Still struggling with this. I'm not sure what I want to be where. I've been toying with keeping this blog just about the kids and family and converting my rants (like, umm, about cheese and vampires) and other items to my public blog. Regarding my paper crafting blog, I'm starting to wonder if I should scale back on the paper crafting and start writing again. I just don't think I have the time to be a crafter and a writer.
• Attend 2 scrapbook retreats. Nothing yet, but it'll happen.
• Make money blogging. Also wondering if this is what I want. I don't want a blog created to make money. I want a great blog, and if I get the traffic and then add some ads that create some revenue, then that's great. But my goal is not to blog for money.

Some other interesting things:


Since the New Year, I have purchased seven stamp sets (most second-hand) and adhesive. I haven't spent a dime at Michaels or Hobby Lobby on crafting items. You might think seven stamp sets is A LOT, but, trust me, it's nothing compared to my usual shopping habits. I'm pretty proud of myself and a bit disgusted by how much I have. I had three boxes of stuff to sell/donate and only have one box left now! I'm getting to a place where I know and use what I have. It's a great feeling. (Don't get me wrong, I still have a disgusting amount of stuff, but there's marked improvement.)

I'm feeling better about the school search in Louisiana. I think I'm down to two public schools that I'd find acceptable. They have good ratings and reputations, from what I've gathered through obsessive internet searching. They're in an area of town that I think my family would enjoy living in - near the university and "things to do" (a lot of the better ranking schools tend to be in less desirable neighborhoods, and I like to live within walking distance of the school). Rentals are hard to come by (at least online), but housing prices are fairly reasonable (more than here, but not that much more). Buying isn't out first choice, since we may only be there for a year. I'm guessing, though, that even losing a bit of money on the house would still be cheaper than private school tuition and outrageous pet deposits. We'll see. But I am feeling more positive about it.

The boys have pictures today! We are meeting a photographer at the Train Museum. Ever since Bean was born (almost 5 years ago!), we have gone to JCPenney's exclusively. We had a membership, and you couldn't beat the prices. It has since expired and, overall, the JCP here is just not as nice as the JCP in Indianapolis, so I'm in no rush to go back. I found this photographer online. She's fairly new to the business, so her rates are super reasonable. I'm so, so eager to see how they turn out.

Finally, I need to sell about $250 worth of Tastefully Simple this month to stay active. So. Send me some orders (and thanks to my friends who have already ordered). I'll cut you a great deal.

School Discussion

Since finding out that we're heading to Louisiana, there's been a lot of talk about where to send the kids for school. The area schools don't exactly boast a great reputation.

Bean has been through PreK-3 and PreK-4 now and is certainly ahead of where I was when I started kindergarten. I'm not a mom who brags about her kid being a super-genius, but I do think he's "ahead" (but I also think he's fairly average compared to all his classmates, nothing wrong with that).

I thought very seriously about sending him to the Montessori school in the area. It seems like a phenomenal place and I think the Montessori program is something both boys would respond well to. It certainly costs a pretty penny, though, and that cost would override things like vacations, a new car, my going back to school, my having to go back to work (and like for real, not just serving coffee). It's something we'd be willing to do, but it would come with some sacrifice.

Last week, I talked to a mom who lived in the area about three years ago. She said she that she would have homeschooled if they got based there again, and she doesn't even want to homeschool.

I met a mom today who is moving there in August. She has children, 9 and 14. She said she wasn't pleased with the general public schools, but she found the magnet/charter schools up to snuff. So, I looked into those today. Oh, and they seem like the most wonderful thing! FREE and UP TO SNUFF!

From what I understand, though, the kids must be tested before being accepted. What if my kid doesn't make the cut? Then what? Also, we've already missed the 2010-2011 testing dates (umm, because we don't even have orders there yet), so who knows if they'll even be taking kids by the time we get there. Then what do I do with him? I guess we could go ahead with the Montessori school, but - good grief - the price difference certainly affects so many aspects of our life. A new car is one thing, but having two parents working is a pretty big change for them.

So, till something actually happens, I'm going to continue to fret over over this.

Also, a friend of a friend, who lives in my neighborhood, has a serious offer on her house. It's been on the market for 5 days! Was priced quite a bit higher than they had expected. Real estate is certainly looking up. I have an interview with her realtor (which was already scheduled before the big offer) next week. So, perhaps I will have some relief in that area :)

The Long Drive and Here Comes the Realtor

Last weekend, we made a trip to Colorado to visit my husband's grandmother and my mother-in-law (she was there visiting). It was cold, but it was still beautiful. I'll take Colorado in July or February. Who knew ... I like mountains!

There wasn't as much snow up there as I was expecting, but Great-Grandma did have some in her backyard that had been there since Christmas. It was ice and made wicked-mean snowballs. Not so good for snowmen or snow angels, but Husband and Bean scooped some up and made homemade snow cones (minus the cone part).

The boys are now proud owners of snow pants - they're on the big side so, hopefully, if we get snow next winter they'll be prepared!

The kids enjoyed seeing their grandma and great-grandma. I don't think Great-Grandma has had such a wild weekend since the last time Bean visited in 2007. Bean was in a roaring and hitting stage then and she couldn't even get close to him. This time, though, he hugged her and liked her quite a lot. Moose was also sweet as could be and both grandmas loved seeing him pitter-pat all over the house.

It takes 12 hours to get up there and, obviously, 12 hours to get back. We were actually there for about 36 hours. So, it was a lot of traveling, but everyone handled it well (well, well enough). We bought a Garmin Nuvi before leaving and that little thing is great. Most the areas we traveled were pretty desolate, so it was nice to plug in the location and see how far away a restroom or gas station or food was. When you're traveling with children, seeing that it's 90 miles to the next restaurant is torture. Luckily, I had granola bars and fish crackers to tide them over.

Husband left for Red Flag, which, if I understand correctly, is sort of like a big gathering of Air Force stuff and, umm, maybe, they're like playing war games or something. I'm not really sure. Anyway, we didn't have a lot of time between driving on Monday and his departure on Wednesday.

I'm interviewing a realtor in early March. I have a huge list of things I want to accomplish before she looks at the house. I'll never get them all done - not with the regular house and the children insisting on the whole attention/parenting thing. I did get the mailbox painted (well, I still need to do the actual mailbox, but all the brick is painted), fixed the bathroom door, scrubbed the sunroom (it was gross), bathed the dog (she was grosser), and caulked some areas in the kitchen and master bath. So, those are all good things.

Now, there is taco soup waiting for me.

Update on some things ...

Husband is going away for something he volunteered for, not for training. My bad. At some point within the next year or two, he will have some training where he goes away for a while, but that's not what this is. Shows how much I know.

We're going to do a quick trip to Colorado over Valentine's Day weekend. Husband's mom will be up there as well. We decided that a week in Colorado in March will still be cold and probably snowy. So, you know, it might not be the most pleasant place to be. We still want to see his grandma, though, and it'll be a bonus that my MIL is up there too. We always like spending time with her.

For our bigger trip, we're now thinking Florida. Disney offers discounted tickets and hotels and Busch Gardens and Sea World are free to military. So, we can probably swing it. My grandpa and his wife live close to there, so we can visit them for a couple days too. We're toying with the idea of going down to the Keys (probably our favorite place in the whole wide world), but the kids probably won't be that into it. C, want to meet us up in Orlando? We can get you a discounted ticket too!

Weight Watchers is going very well. I'm learning a lot about my body and about a lot of bad habits I've adopted over the years. I'm glad on confronting all this now and not later. We have a birthday party tonight, so that will be a big test in my self-control.

Oh, and we dropped Moose off with a friend this morning. He WALKED halfway down her hallway, turned, and walked to the TV - all without holding a finger. That's some seriously walking! So, I think we can conclude that he CAN walk. What a stubborn stinker.

Bean is doing really well in school lately, lots and lots of green days. He's also getting the concept of days of the week down. He's been able to name them all, in order, for quite some time, but he's really grasping when Tuesday is or what happens on Friday and stuff. Pretty cool.

Birthday Parties, Etc.

Bean has a birthday party on Friday night and another Saturday afternoon. Moose and I went to Target to gather up some gifts. I bought a Batman car for one of the kids and every time the darn present moves it roars and revs its wheels. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off (I have that problem with a lot of toys).

I picked up a few things for Bean's upcoming birthday too. I felt guilty, so I got Moose something too (and he was pretty happy to just gnaw on the box).

Also, it appears that my husband is heading out for training soon. I won't give specifics, in case some crazy people are reading the blog, but I think it's probably a good time for him to go to this. It doesn't interfere with any planned vacations (umm, not that we have any planned really), it doesn't interfere with selling the house (he'll be back in plenty of time to wrap up projects and be here to tidy during showings), it doesn't interfere with moving. Way to go, Air Force. We don't have much notice, but we have enough. Of course, things can change and the next post I write I'll be super pissed. It's just the way it goes.

Also, if there are crazy people reading this ... you should know that I have a very protective dog. If you'd like to rob my home, just knock on the door and tell me to toss out the TVs and Xbox. I'll be happy to oblige. There is no need to burst in and scare everyone and make a huge mess. Also, don't underestimate a protective mother ... I will cut you and not give it a second thought. So, that's that.

Finally, Congress (and Mr. President), can we just get on with overturning this Don't Ask, Don't Tell Thing? This will be a much faster success than health care.

B52

Yesterday, Husband's assignment was finalized. We're headed to Shreveport, Louisiana where he'll fly the B52.

It's not what we had in mind, but it is what it is. I'm sure the words "service before self" are ringing over and over again in Husband's ear.

It's rare for a guy in his position to get a bomber, but it's becoming increasingly common. It's all based on the needs of the Air Force today - not what you wanted, not what your commander wanted, not what the Air Force would have done a year or two ago.

Oh well.

Shreveport looks like a step up from where we are now. There are quite a few schooling options - some distinguished public schools, lots of religious private schools, and (most exciting) two non-affiliated private schools. I'm excited about the options. I'm so over Texas public schools. Shreveport is about twice as large as the city we currently live in ... so there's bound to be more to do.

It's about 3 hours from Dallas (about the same distance we are now) and about 5 hours to New Orleans and about 6 to San Antonio.

We're excited to be moving on and will probably be moved out there before the end of the year. Things are going to go quickly from here on out.

***By "the end of the year," I'm speaking of 2010! We're hoping to get the house up April 1 - that's what I mean by "things are going to go quickly." Sorry for the fuzziness!

A few things ...

My mom came to visit earlier this month. We exchanged gifts and she complimented a lot of my cooking. The kids got plenty of new toys and spoiling. She also came to M&Ms with me on Tuesday night and enjoyed the meeting. I'm glad she got the chance to see a little of what I do here :)

I have video of Moose's knee walking. I will post it up here soon.

We should know Husband's assignment in "early January." So, whatever that means. A guy who lives around the corner got his assignment in September and has his orders for this and that - it all seems to be moving quickly for them. It's weird to think that we might not be celebrating Christmas in this house next year (I'm not holding my breath about that, but it's possible).

Husband and I went to his squadron Christmas party last week. Good times. I have two more wives to invite to my craft nights now, so we'll see how that goes (so, either I met some nice officer wives or I'm being ONE OF THEM - the horror!). The food was good, and I won a gift certificate to a local restaurant. Yummy.

I had a dentist appointment Tuesday ... that I forgot about. I even had child care arranged! I rescheduled for Wednesday and to take Moose in there with me. He sat in his stroller eating a Corn Pop-Cheerio mix and was PERFECT (just like my checkup).

With 2010 approaching, I've been thinking a lot about what went right and wrong this year and my goals for next year. I have pages of notes and am working on condensing them down to something coherent for those who don't speak my language :) 2010 ... that's a new decade. It has a nice ring to it.

Capt. Giglio

When my husband first started pilot training, Captain Nicholas Giglio was an instructor pilot for his class. Many of the guys my husband graduated with knew him well. The Giglios were based here for about four years and have many friends in the area.

We are sending thoughts and prayers to the Giglio family and friends, particularly his wife Leigh, their 1-year-old daughter Grace, and their baby son on the way.

Life can change in an instant.

Missing pilot had no chance to eject

Suck It Update

To make a long story, umm, long ...

I called the nurse hotline again and told them I'd been waiting. Someone called me back in 5 minutes. When confirming the information, she noted that they had the birthday, social security number, and a major symptom wrong (the CSR wrote in that he had a history of seizures ... at no point did I say this ... that's a pretty huge error, thank you, shotty phone connection).

Anyway, the nurse I spoke to was great (and relieved that my kid was not have seizures). We were referred to an urgent care clinic. We left at 9:40 and got in to see the NP on duty at 12 noon. She was very thorough and believed it was just his eye and not something neurological. Her husband is an eye doctor in town, so she had a special interest (I felt) in my concern.

Husband finagled an informal assessment from Bean's PCM at 1 p.m. (see: they walk into the waiting room to listen to you moan and take a glance at your kid and give you whatever referral you want). His PCM said she'd rush a referral to an eye doctor (something that usually takes 10 days) and try to get him a same-day or by Friday appointment. An hour later, the office called with an appointment ready!

We saw the eye doctor, who was also great. She was very thorough and very pleased that we had rushed to get this taken care. She definitely didn't think we were over reacting and was happy we had taken it so seriously (one perk to being married to a pilot: eyes are a very serious subject).

Bean is farsighted, like most kids. The symptoms he is exhibiting usually happen around 2 or 3, so she's thinking since they're showing up later that his case is more mild. The faster it's treated, the quicker and better the outcome. He can still see equally well out of both eyes, something that is usually not the case by the time she sees kids. She thinks his eyes will self-correct by 10 or 11. Till then, he's in glasses.

His first pair of glasses will be ready tomorrow afternoon. He has another appointment with the eye doctor in 2 months.

The NP at urgent care seems to think that Bean also has a mild virus which might be why the "lazy eye" showed up so suddenly - viruses tend to exasperate things.

So, it's been a long day, but it's turned out well. Bean received some great care and will be wildly cute in his new glasses. Hopefully, he will also be wildly thrilled when he doesn't have to wear glasses (or have a wonky eye) come his teenage years.

Bean has been on the road to or from a doctor or in an office from 9:40 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Considering that, he was very well behaved. I don't even blame him for rolling around the aisle at the eye glass place.

Dear Military Healthcare Process, SUCK IT!

Dear Military Healthcare Process,

I noticed my 4 year old son's eyes were severely crossed last night. I called the nurse hotline and waited more than an hour for someone to call me back. Oh, did I mention that when I called the nurse hotline the connection was quite choppy (not on my end, but on your CSR's end)?

So, the nurse calls me back and tells me to make an appointment with pediatrics. I call at 7:30 and am told there are no appointments for today with my child's PCM (primary care manager). I'm told I should call at 6:30 a.m., if I want a same day appointment. (Here's where I would normally insert - Seriously? - but I'm sure you are dead serious. Dead.) The CSR sends me to the nurse hotline. I give my information, and here we are.

It's more than an hour later, and the nurse hotline ... which again had a choppy connection and promised to call back in 25 to 30 minutes ... still hasn't called back.

My husband called you. You gave him an 8:20 a.m. for tomorrow. Not good enough. My kid could be blind by then.

My husband called the pediatric's desk (which I tried to call, but only got a busy signal). They said they would see my 4 year old at 1 p.m. and just to see if he needs a referral off-base. Because, you know, a lot of doctors in town will have appointments available at 1 p.m.

Listen, you rotton assholes, all I want is 15 minutes of someone's time to look at my child and access the situation. Why did this happen suddenly? Is it getting worse as fast as it appeared? Is he going to go into a stroke or seziures? If not, can't we just go see a freaking eye doctor already? (Oh, yes, I called the eye doctor and he said they can't see him without a referral from him PCM ... you know, the PCM that never has any appointments open. I told the guy at the eye doc's office, "So, tough shit then, huh?" He said, "Ma'am, I didn't say that. It's a different Air Force now, that's the most polite way I can put it.")

Since you asked ...

This is an excerpt from I Love a Man in Uniform by Lily Burana. She's attending a military dinner with her husband and meeting other officers' wives for the first time:

One of the women looks me over. "Is your husband an Academy graduate?"

He isn't, I explain. He received his commission through ROTC.

She nods, lips pursed.

When she discovers that my husband is a major, she makes a point of telling me that hers is a colonel. She asks where we were stationed before, how long we have been married, and if we have any children. The expression on her face shifts with every question I answer, and I get the sense that our conversation is not so much a friendly exchange of personal history as a way of gathering information that can, and will, be used against me.

"So," she says, "where did you meet your husband?" She pauses for a chilly, bristling beat. "In a bar?"

... maybe this verbal hazing is part of the getting-to-know-you process. I can't tell if this woman expects me to fire back. I didn't get the secret Army wife decoder ring. All I know is that she intended to make me feel bad and she succeeded.

Aside from a handful of women, mostly from my husband's pilot training class, I share these exact feelings when meeting officers' wives. It's why I "opt out" of most wife things. It's too much pressure. Most days, I'm thrilled just to get a shower ... forgot competing with my husband's rank, education, the size of my house, and the shade of my lipstick.

Also, someone should feed this line to my husband:

As I recited my misgivings to Mike - that I might not meet the standards for a successful officer's wife; that I might not fit in with the other women; that I might morph into some tedious spouse-bot ...

"If I wanted a Stepford wife," Mike said, "I'd have married one."

That ends today's book report.

Current Frustrations & Good Stuff

Frustration the First: American Airlines. Because THEY are not offering assigned seats for my second flight, I cannot check in. You know, I failed to mention my "traveling with lap infant," because I was afraid you would pull this shit. Then you go ahead and do it anyway. I hate flying, and it's not because I am scared of airplanes. It's because airlines treat you like you're horseshit. Also, I don't like taking off my shoes or being treated like a terrorist because I am attempting to smuggle baby stuff (for my baby, who is ::right here::) on board. I guess some of that is the TSA ... let's not get started on them. (And spare me the lecture on them "keeping us safe.")

There are other frustrations, including us not finding out our aircraft till after December 2009 - a month and year and idea we have had in our minds for so many years now. My husband is in the third round of assignments and the second round of assignments is apparently coming in late. It could mean nothing, but I guess I shouldn't be holding my breath for December 2009. It might be January 2010 ... but knowing how Air Force Quip operates, I imagine not much will be presented in January 2010 after they have had two weeks off. Lame.

My husband also suggested that we will be out of here in December 2010. Don't me get me wrong, I do not like this city or the weather, but I have finally made friends I actually like and will miss. Also, this house ... do we try selling early or wait till we have paper orders? I don't want to see someone else living in MY house or making friends with MY neighbors. Mrs. House of Toys said, "It's like they'll be living your life." Maybe that's an exaggeration, but it sure feels that way.

Then I'm worried about decluttering and finishing up projects and how we'll be putting all this work in and then not even enjoying it.

Sometimes, I wish I could compartmentalize my feelings and worry and bring them out when they would actually be serving a purpose ... but I don't have that. It's just everything, all the time. Everything is here and now - no past, no future. It's all right this second ... and that gets exhausting.

Also, finished reading The Hour I First Believed. Loved it. It's Wally Lamb's first novel in nine years (his previous books, She's Come Undone and I Know This Much Is True were bestsellers). Current events play a part in the fiction, and it's a very creative way to write a novel. Awesome. You should read it.

Am now reading The 5 Love Languages of Children and am attending a Christian mom's book study for it. Good book, interesting discussion.

Moose is now giving kisses (more like placing his open, drooling mouth on your face) and intiating play (he throws a blanket on his head and then pulls it down, wanting you say, "Where's Moose?" and "Peek-a-boo.") Oh, he is delicious. He could probably stand unassisted, but he doesn't. He doesn't even cruise around the furniture all the much. He's a very, very good crawler. I guess he figures that serves him well enough. I'm fine with it.

Happenings

Last Saturday, I had a planning meeting with the M&Ms group. (I'm on the steering committee. Oh, and M&Ms stands for Moms & Munchkins.) We planned out an entire year of meetings - themes, food, speakers, etc. It was actually ::not:: that bad. We've carried over some of our popular themes (finances, PJ night, Christmas Party) and added some new ones (marriage, which will have a bridal shower theme, and personalities, where will take a couple tests). I think it's going to be a fun year! We also decided on a regular play date and possibly introducing a quarterly Bunco night.

I also applied for my first design team! The four spots are open till August 15. I assume (though, I really have no idea) they'll have their decisions made by the end of the month. We'll see. I totally dig their stamps, and I would love, love to work with them!

Also, a few guys in my husband's "assignment year" (or something like that) got their assignments. Everyone got something good (probably their first or second choice, we would guess), so we're not sure if that's good or bad news. It could mean everyone is going to get their first or second choice. It could mean those first round of guys took all the "good" stuff. It could mean nothing. It probably means nothing. There are always rumors of this or that, but nothing can be confirmed. We can just be happy for the guys who got their assignments and be happy with whatever we get. My husband has done his best, so we'll just keep waiting.

Oh, and Cappie (our beta fish) died Monday. Yet another example of my inability to keep a small pet alive. The dumb thing lived through three weeks of my husband feeding it one pellet a day (he misunderstood what I said, to feed it one or two pellets twice a day), but I get home and clean its home and it ups and dies on me. Dumb fish.

Last Day

Today is my husband's pointed out that it was his last day at work as a lieutenant.

My response: "OR ... if you weren't a pilot, your commitment would be up, and we could finally have a real life."

It's all about perspective :)

Dead Birds & More

So, I often complain that my husband works too much ... but there seems to be a distinct difference between him working too much and him being gone completely.

I mowed the day he left, because he didn't. I didn't edge, and it looks quite terrible ... but I haven't had anyone knocking on my door asking to mow it (I had two knocks previously). Regardless, I still have a case of ghetto grass.

There is also a dead bird on the sidewalk.

There was also a dead bird in the play room thanks to Spike (the pug from House of Boys that I'm watching for the weekend) . I picked that one up.

The one on the sidewalk is still there (it's been two days).

I found a roach. A big, ugly roach. The first time I've ever found one in this house. (And before you think I'm the worst housekeeper in the world ... roaches are VERY common in Texas. Like so common that coming across one from time to time is completely normal.)

The front porch light burnt out last night as I turned it on. So, I got to go out in the dark and fix it.

All of these, I suppose, are easy enough to handle ... I just prefer not to.

I also ran out of bread. My milk went sour. I haven't cooked a proper dinner since Wednesday (and I usually cook most every night).

Did I mention that Moose is teething like a crazy person? He actually screams! I've even resorted to Hyland Teething Tablets AND Tylenol together. I even let him feed himself cottage cheese, because he was so antsy about it. I much prefer mess to noise. Let me tell you, cottage cheese is messy. I hoped the dogs would lick it up, but it turns out that neither heelers nor pugs are a big fan of cottage cheese.

I am in big trouble when the time comes for Husband to deploy (which, thankfully, won't happen for a few more years).

In relief news, however, I bought this:Happy early birthday to me.